Thursday, March 10, 2011

choice.


rainbow.
made by
baby.


some things in our life we have no choice about.  they are just that way.  the parents you have.  the weather where you live.  the amount of traffic on any given day.  what we do have a choice about is how we choose to view these things in our life which we have no control over.  i am not good at this.  i, ironically, just wrote a post a few day ago called blessed & broken.  where i revealed that i am a glass have empty type of girl.  i think the Lord is about to teach me a few lessons in my life. 

my parents moved to amsterdam at the first of the year.  my dad was going there to start a new branch of his company. they were to be there for a little over a year.  very exciting and a little scary.  we were all supportive but of course did not really want my parents to go.  my family is a little different.  we are extremely close.  we live close. we worship together.  often dine together. and in general are very involved in each others everyday lives.  my parents needed to come back.  they arrived home on tuesday.  permanently. 


be still & know.



while in amsterdam my mama started not feeling well.  after many trips to the dr, and er.  they have come to some conclusions.  the amsterdam dr.'s have diagnosed her with ovarian cancer.  they think it is advanced.  we are not sure.  and are waiting to see an amazing dr at the u of m to know for sure.  we are choosing to be positive.  we will deal with things as they come.  for better or worse. 

in blessed & broken i wrote about how "easy" my life has been.  many people have taken their turn in the line of yucky things.  i have not been asked to even get in the line.  some have taken multiple turns in front of me.  i think it is my families turn in line.  we are in the very early stages.  some days are good for me. some days are not good.  same with my family.  same with my mama.  she is strong.  she has an amazing faith.  she knows that whatever the Lords plan is for her, and for us, that it is the right one.  because He created it. 

annelea hart.


in my times of struggle i wish i knew what the plan was.  i am a planner.  but maybe it is for the best.  i need to grow.  i need to learn to give my whole world to Him and let Him lead me.  i have not been doing that.  i have been trying to show Him the way.  pretty silly if you think about it.  i don't even have the map or know the way.  He does.  so i choose faith.  i choose hope.  i choose to spend every free moment with my mama. 

please add my mama to your prayer list.  send us your uplifting stories. send us your good vibes.  most of all, hug your family.  tell them today what they have meant to your life.  we have always known that this life was temporary.  we have always known that He gives and He takes away.  according to His will.  be thankful for every moment.  don't let them pass.  don't be so busy in our mama and papa lives that we miss those wonderful, everyday, little moments.  make today great.  make today lovely. 



little mama.

6 comments:

Rhonda said...

So beautiful! Thank you for your beautiful insight into this crappy part of our journey. We'll make it together & come out ok on the other end. I love you & am VERY proud of you!!!!

Hayley said...

Tears for you. . . a stranger. . .

this really touched my heart.

*"i've never even been asked to get in line"*

i know this feeling- up until last year we have had an incredibly easy, blessed, "golden" life.

hard stuff changes you. makes you stronger. makes you older. i feel like i'm eighty some days.

hard stuff makes you realize how weak we actually are. i have never been so overwhelmed by the incredible grace of God in the last bitter, bitter months. i wouldn't wish losing a child on my worst enemy; but i would wish this kind of grace on everyone.

i pray for a beautiful ending to this story; healing; bonding even closer as a family; incredible physicians; but most of all for the grace of God to just pour over your souls.

i'm so sorry for your pain...

praying for your mom tonight. praying for you.

eschmitz1 said...

I agree with Kel when she says its our turn in line. We have been a very blessed and lucky family. None of us like it but the Lord dealt the cards and this is the hand that we got dealt. So now we will all play that hand the best we possiably can. We deffinatly have a journey in front of us but we can handle it. This will be no diffrent than doing a kitchen remodel or head gaskets in a car. We have always beeen a family that has our eyes set on the final out come and thats where our focus is. We know how we want a project to look in the end and we work our asses off to make that happen. Dont take this the wrong way Mom, you are not a project but you are our focus.So we will all do what ever needs to be done! I wish I could write like Kel but I cant. I love you sweetie. Working Man

Rhonda said...

Working Man-your words brought tears of appreciation & love to my eyes. This is a project of sorts; we're focusing on the final finished product; a healthy me! Thank you for your love & such willingness to always help out. I love you more than you know.

Hayley- thank you for your touching note & most of all your prayers. This will change our family but for the better. I didn't think that was possible but I'm seeing it already!! Welcome to our Prayer Warrior group!!!! God bless you!

Lindsey said...

My heart is breaking for your entire family right now. I will be in prayer for you all, every step of the way.

Meghan said...

Your mom and your entire family stay in my prayers and thoughts. I have been asked to get in line more than I care to acknowledge. But one thing I have learned, God creates miracles from brokeness. He has showed me so much grace and mercy throughout the years but as the trials passed he made my testimony stronger and stronger. Though this journey was never intended you have such a huge support system and the Love and Comfort of our Heavenly Father. I hold each of you close to my heart and lift you up to Heaven.